Mặn mòi vị biển

Vân bần thần nhìn ra biển. Biển xanh ngút ngàn tầm mắt. Những con sóng quặn trào trồi ngụp trườn qua bàn chân. Chiều nào cũng như chiều nào, dù ngày nắng hay ngày mưa Vân lại ra bờ biển. Biển vẫn vậy vẫn ồn ào và xanh ngắt. Cô thấy mình nhỏ nhoi trước biển khơi.


Hoa muống biển

Hoàng hôn rực lên ráng hồng vắt ngang lằn nước xanh ngăn ngắt ngoài khơi xa. Hoàng ơi giờ này anh ở đâu, hai hàng nước mắt vân rơi lã chã tan hòa cùng vị mặn mòi của nước biển khơi, chả còn nhớ bao lần cô khóc, chắc chỉ có biển là nhớ bởi dưới làn nước trong xanh kia có thêm vị mặn được tạo thêm bởi sự đau khổ của người đàn bà trước biển.

Ngày ấy Hoàng và Vân là đôi bạn học cùng lớp suốt từ lớp 1 đến hết cấp 3. Tuy là con trai con gái vùng biển mà cả hai đều có nước da trắng bóc của người thành phố, Hoàng vẫn bị bạn bè trêu là hoàng tử biển khơi, còn Vân có biệt danh là nàng tiên cá xóm lưới. Thời gian thấm thoắt, hai đứa vắn vít như đôi sam của biển, chiều chiều học xong trên đường về nhà Hoàng và Vân thường hồn nhiên đuổi nhau dọc bãi biển, những con sóng xô bờ bắn tóe dưới chân con trẻ, chạy nhọc lại nằm vật ra bãi cát trắng muốt tranh nhau thở, sóng trồi lên cuộn xuống xóa nhòa bao gianh giới, nằm chán lại nắm tay nhau mải mê ngắt những bông muống biển màu tim tím thả trôi theo dòng nước với bao điều nguyện ước. Thời gian cứ thế trôi nhanh sau ngày thi tốt nghiêp hết cấp, hai đứa lại cùng nhau vui đùa trên bờ cát, bỗng Hoàng nắm trặt tay Vân kéo sát vào lòng anh thì thào:

- Hoàng trúng tuyển nghĩa vụ quân sự rồi

Hai mắt vân mở to nhìn chằm chằm vào Hoàng:

- Hoàng trúng tuyển? Ttrúng khi nào?

- Hoàng khám tuyển tuần trước sau ngày báo đỗ tốt nghiệp

- Sao sao...

- Vân không muốn Hoàng đi sao?

- Vân…Vân…

Nước mắt cô lăn dài trên gò má trắng hồng dưới cái nắng chiều sắp tắt, biển hôm nay làm sao cuộn trào dữ dội hơn mọi hôm. Cảm giác hụt hẫng bâng khuâng ùa về trong lòng cô gái xóm chài.

- Vân đợi Hoàng nhé.

- Sao Hoàng giấu Vân không nói gì?

- Hoàng sợ Vân buồn, mà Hoàng di nghĩa vụ ra đảo có 3 năm thôi mà, Vân yên tâm Hoàng đăng ký lính hải quân, ra đảo Trường Sa, biết đâu những bông muống tím Vân thả lại chả ra được với Hoàng và chiều chiều Hoàng sẽ ra bãi biển nhìn về phía mặt trời lặn để tìm dáng hình Vân

Nước mắt vân tuôn rơi cô khóc. Tiếng khóc rấm rứt bởi sau bao năm với vô vàn kỷ niệm chưa khi nào nói thành lời vậy mà Hoàng giấu không nói với Vân khi anh khám tuyển. Hoàng ôm trặt Vân vào lòng rồi anh cũng bật khóc, tiếng khóc của đôi trẻ hòa tan trong tiếng sóng. Vân vừa nấc vừa nói nhỏ

- Hoàng cứ yên tâm đi Vân sẽ đợi, mà ra ngoài đó kham khổ lắm, không biết Hoàng có chịu đựng được không

- Vân yên tâm, Hoàng lớn lên bởi làng chài vất vả quen rồi, ngày nào chúng mình cũng ra bờ biển nhờ sóng chuyển lời Vân nhé..

Ngày chia tay, Vân bịn rịn đi tiễn Hoàng. Bộ quân phục Hải quân càng tôn vẻ đẹp hoang sơ của chàng trai xóm vạn. Tiếng còi tầu rục rục hú dài. Vân vội dúi vào tay hoàng một quyển sổ nhỏ xinh xắn:

- Nhớ viết thư về cho Vân Hoàng nhé

- Hoàng sẽ viết, ngày nào Hoàng cũng sẽ viết Vân chờ Hoàng.

Con tàu chở Hoàng rời cái xóm chài đến nơi đóng quân khuất dần. Vân thấy mình nhỏ nhoi trước màu xanh bao la của biển. Vậy là Hoàng đã đi, từ nay chỉ còn Vân một mình cô đơn trước biển, Biển vẫn xanh ngút ngàn và sóng vẫn xô cồn cào bờ cát, chiều nào Vân cũng ra bờ biển nhìn về nơi xa xôi, cuối lằn phân tranh giữa trời và đất, ở nơi xa ấy có Hoàng của Vân. Những bức thư Hoàng gửi kể về những ngày thao luyện vất vả, những bữa cơm đạm bạc thiếu thốn đủ thứ, từ nước ngọt đến rau xanh, chỉ có gió và sóng biển và những cây phong ba là dồi dào mà thôi, Đơn vị của Hoàng đóng trên đảo Sinh Tồn, thuộc quần đảo Trường sa, hàng ngày sau giờ thao luyện anh em lại phân công nhau ra biển cải thiện thêm chút cá tươi. Vân chỉ biết láo pháo vậy chứ cũng chẳng mường tượng ra nơi Hoàng đóng quân ra sao.

Sau một năm nhập ngũ Hoàng được về phép nửa tháng, gia đình anh có cơi trầu qua xin hỏi và cưới Vân. Đám cưới của đôi trẻ thật dản dị với dăm mâm cơm mời bà con xóm vạn. Ngày vui qua nhanh, thấm thoắt hết thời gian nghỉ phép Hoàng bịn rịn chia tay gia đình họ hàng và người vợ trẻ để lên đường ra đảo, nơi anh cùng đồng đội đang ngày đêm canh giữ biển trời thiêng liêng của Tổ quốc.

Ngày tháng trôi nhanh Vân sinh được một bé trai bụ bẫm. Những bức thư chị gửi cho anh kể về những ngày vượt cạn. Cô vui lắm tả cho anh về thằng Trường Sa giống cha ra sao, từ cái miệng, khóe mắt, cái môi đỏ hay làm nũng mẹ, đến nước da trắng giống Hoàng. Hoàng gửi về cho vân và con những vỏ ốc biển, nhành san hô đỏ mà anh lấy từ đảo, quà của người lính cho con chỉ có thế. Vân vẫn để cái vỏ ốc sinh sắn bên tai cho con nghe tiếng sóng biển vỗ về. Thằng bé con trai lính đảo cũng lạ, cứ suốt ngày mang bên mình con ốc bố gửi làm trò chơi, mà chỉ có con ốc mới dỗ được nó khỏi khóc mỗi khi vòi mẹ. Vân đếm đôt từng ngày, sắp được ba năm Hoàng hoàn thành nghĩa vụ quân sự, chiều nào cũng vậy chị lại dắt thằng Trường Sa ra ngoài bờ biển, hai mẹ con ngắt từng bông muống tím thả theo dòng nước với bao điều nguyện cầu anh bình an trở về, Thằng bé bi bô không hiểu gì chỉ mải mê vui cùng con sóng sóng, nó nặn cát thành cồn nhỏ để rồi con sóng trào qua cuốn phẳng. Biển không chiều lòng người, cái tin Hoàng hy sinh như tiếng sét ngang tai. Vân không tin nổi vào mắt mình khi cầm trên tay tờ giấy báo tử của chính quyền, đó là năm 1988 khi Hải quân Quân giải phóng Nhân dân Trung Hoa đưa quân chiếm đóng bãi đá Cô Lin, bãi đá Len Đao và bãi đá Gạc Ma thuộc quần đảo Trường Sa. Do ba bãi đá này không có quân đội đồn trú nên Hải quân Nhân dân Việt Nam phải đưa quân ra bảo vệ, đánh trả và cuộc chiến nổ ra vào ngày 14 tháng 3 năm 1988. Phía Việt Nam mất ba tàu vận tải của hải quân Việt Nam, 64 thủy binh Việt Nam đã thiệt mạng trong đó có Hoàng.

Vân như cuồng như dại, lao về phía biển, biển chiều đỏ suộm màu máu. Vân tức tưởi gục mình xuống bãi cát trắng, chị gào lên Hoàng ơi, sao anh nỡ bỏ em và con, tiếng khóc của người vợ trẻ như vỡ òa cùng tiếng sóng bà con xóm vạn chạy xô ra đưa Vân về nhà, Thằng Trường Sa niềm hy vọng của Vân và Hoàng ngơ ngác như chẳng hiểu chuyện gì đang xảy ra, nó chỉ thấy mọi người đến nhà nó đông hơn mọi ngày, bà con động viên an ủi Vân gắng gượng mà nuôi con. Nước mắt chi tuôn rơi, chị khóc, khóc tức tưởi, khóc như chưa bao giờ được khóc, nước mắt của chị cũng mặn mòi như vị mặn của biển, nhìn con chị không sao cầm lòng, sẽ phải sống thế nào đây khi thiếu vắng anh, rồi thằng Trường Sa sẽ ra sao, liệu sau này nó có như anh ra biển. Thời gian trôi nhanh xóa nhòa mọi ranh giới, thằng Sa cũng ngày một lớn khôn. Chiều chiều Vân vẫn một mình ra biển, chị ngắt những bông muống, biển lại cuốn những bông hoa tim tím chị thả ra xa, những bông hoa dập dềnh trôi theo con nước, biển vẫn mênh mông một màu xanh ngắt, ngút ngàn phía chân trời hình như có bóng dáng của anh!

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