Tác phẩm cười của Vũ Ba Lan (Nghệ An)

Tác giả Vũ Ba Lan ở xóm Tràng Thân, Xã Diễn Phúc, Diễn Châu, Nghệ An. SĐT: 0912301181


 

 

 

BIÊN CHẾ ĐẶC BIỆT

Đã hơn 8 giờ sáng , Sếp đang nhâm nhi ly cà phê tại quán “ Điểm hẹn” thì ả văn thư hốt hoảng chạy ra báo tin :

-  Thưa sếp, Báo “ Ngược dòng” có đưa tin về những việc làm thiếu tinh thần trách nhiệm, để xẩy ra tham nhũng, tiêu cực, mất đoàn kết nội bộ , gây thất thoát tài sản ở công ty ta. Dân chúng đang bàn tán, xôn xao quá trời. Sao Sếp chưa có ý kiến gì với báo chí và giải thích cho dư luận rõ về vụ này mà sếp bình tĩnh quá vậy ?

- Thế hả, Báo ra ngày nào ?, lâu chưa ?, đứa nào viết đó ? Cô tìm cho tôi xem tờ báo đó ngay nhé !

- Dạ thưa sếp, báo ra đã 5 ngày rồi, vậy chứ anh chưa đọc hay sao ạ ?

- Bận quá, đã kịp đọc đâu ! Mấy ngày nay công việc chất đống ! Thời gian đâu mà đọc những mấy chục tờ báo !

-  Đúng quá rồi, em thấy báo về chất đống trên tủ, anh không đọc, không biết họ nói gì là phải rồi. Bây giờ anh phải lo cái vụ báo chí phản ánh không thì…

Nói vậy thôi nhưng trong lòng sếp như có lửa đốt. Ông vội vàng chạy về cơ quan, lên phòng làm việc hốt hoảng lục tìm tờ báo “ Có vấn đề ” kia. Đang loay hoay tìm thì trưởng phòng hành chính chạy vào báo tin :

-  Báo cáo anh ! Nguy to rồi, Không hiểu đứa nào trong công ty ta đã tiết lộ “ Sự cố ” vừa rồi của công ty mình với phóng viên quay phim truyền hình. Tối qua, trong chuyên mục “ Vấn đề hôm nay ”, Ti vi có đưa tin và phỏng vấn một số công nhân trong công ty, họ yêu cầu lãnh đạo công ty trả lời trước công luận về những mờ ám và tiêu cực xẩy ra ở công ty mình đó anh ạ. Ý kiến anh thế nào ? anh phải lo để đối phó với công luận ạ ?...

- Thật thế à ? Tối qua tôi bận quá !, khổ quá, thời gian đâu mà đọc những mấy chục tờ báo ! Thời gian đâu mà xem hết các chương trình Ti vi hàng ngày ! Tai hại thật ! Chẳng lẽ cứ ngồi xem miết, thời gian đâu mà làm việc !... Được rồi, tôi đã có cách !, Anh gọi ngay trưởng phòng tổ chức lên cho tôi gặp !

Năm phút sau, trưởng phòng tổ chức có mặt, sếp truyền lệnh :

-  Anh tuyển dụng gấp cho tôi một biên chế…chỉ lo chuyên môn đọc báo, chuyên theo giõi truyền hình, xem họ có nói gì về công ty mình không , để có cách đối phó với dư luận , thế nhé ! Đây là  “ Biên chế đặc biệt ”  không thể thiếu được !

Trưởng phòng tổ chức khúm núm thưa :

 

-  Dạ , báo cáo anh ! Cần gì phải có “ Biên chế đặc biệt ” ấy ạ ! Từ ngày công ty mình xẩy ra ‘ Sự cố ” ấy, các phòng ban tôi thấy hầu như không ai làm việc ..! Toàn thấy đến đọc báo, uống trà, đánh phỏm, tán gẫu, khoe mốt quần áo …đợi hết giờ rồi về !...Chỉ có anh là bận quá, không có thời gian đọc báo, xem truyền hình mà thôi …

- Không nói lôi thôi ! Anh không nghe tôi thì tôi quyết định chính anh phải làm nhiệm vụ ấy !!

 

 

KHÔNG ĐƯỢC  “HẠ CÁNH AN TOÀN ”

Khi ông “ hạ cánh an toàn”

Việc riêng ông đã lo toan xong rồi

Con cháu cắm chốt khắp nơi

Của công thu vén chỉ ngồi mà ăn

Nhà riêng ông cất mấy tầng

Của ăn, của để muôn phần thảnh thơi

Báo chí họ nói mặc đời

Công nhân kêu cứu ông thời chẳng lo

Kinh doanh, sản xuất lỗ to

Quỹ công cạn kiệt, của kho vơi dần

Thanh tra tài sản quỹ công

Ông đã “ hạ cánh” nên không can gì …

Tuy rằng ông đã ra đi

Nhưng nay pháp luật vẫn truy đến cùng

Vạch trần tội lỗi của ông

Đừng hòng “ hạ cánh ”, chớ mong “ an toàn ” !

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