Hai chú chim gáy

Câu thơ, Từ mắt, Cay cay. Ta ngâm ngợi, Để cùng say, Gió Lào... Nghe đến đây, tôi lặng lẽ vào lấy thêm chiếc chén. Bác Tùng rót ba chén đầy. Ba tay ba chén cụng đánh cạch, nhẹ mà vang. Tôi lặng lẽ rót một chén xuống đất. Cứ như vậy, chúng tôi đứng lặng im uống ba chén liền... Mùi rượu từ sân toả lên thơm lựng. Cả hai chúng tôi như quyện vào hương rượu bay lên bồng bềnh... Hai chú chim cũng cất tiếng gáy, đưa chúng tôi về với cánh rừng thủa nào của một thời lính trẻ...


Tác giả Phạm Ngọc San

 

 

Hôm nay lạnh. Bệnh xương khớp lại dán tôi xuống giường. Linh cảm sắp có khách, làm tôi vui hẳn lên. Hai con cu gáy của tôi bỗng sục sạo, càng khẳng định linh cảm của tôi là đúng. Tôi định tung chăn dậy, thì nghe hai chú chim cùng gù:

- Gù... gù... gù...
- Gù... gù... gù...
Cùng với tiếng bác Tùng gù theo hai chú chim, thay cho lời chào tôi và hai chú chim của tôi. Dựng xong chiếc xe đạp, bác Tùng vẫn giọng ăn sóng nói gió của lính:
- Dậy! Dậy! Đau cũng dậy. Cho tôi ấm trà ra đây. Hôm nay ta ngồi ngoài này nhé. Tôi đi từ sớm, chỉ để nghe chú Thổ đồng của bác gáy thôi.
Vụ dịch cúm gia cầm vừa qua, vùng quê bác có ổ dịch, nên thiệt hại nặng. Việc tiêu huỷ toàn bộ gia cầm, trong đó có cả mấy con chim gáy, mà bác Tùng coi như bạn tri âm, làm bác thẫn thờ hàng tháng. May mà bác gửi sang tôi con cu gáy giọng kim khi chưa bùng phát dịch.
Bác Tùng rất sành trà và cũng là một chuyên gia về chim gáy. Nhờ bác, tôi mới hiểu đôi chút về loài chim mà khi nghe tiếng gáy của nó, mọi cảm xúc bộn bề ập đến.  Đặc biệt làm tôi xao xuyến nhớ quê, nhớ một thời rừng xanh trận mạc…
*
Tôi, Thuần và Tùng là sinh viên khoa Hoá, cùng xung phong nhập ngũ sau sự kiện Vịnh Bắc Bộ 1964. Suốt thời lính, chúng tôi sát cánh bên nhau trong cùng một đơn vị. Cả đại đội, thường gọi chúng tôi là bộ ba "xe, pháo, mã". Trận đường 9, chúng tôi mất quá nhiều đồng chí thân yêu, trong đó có Thuần. Nỗi đau dai dẳng bám chặt đơn vị tôi hàng năm trời. Bộ ba của chúng tôi chỉ còn "xe, mã" (Đó là bác Tùng và tôi). Hai chúng tôi chiến đấu bên nhau cho tới ngày xuất ngũ. Thật ngẫu nhiên, sau khi tốt nghiệp, tôi và Tùng về công tác tại nhà máy cách nhà bác Tùng chục cây số. Nay cả hai đều đã nghỉ hưu. Chúng tôi tự cho mình là người may mắn và hạnh phúc nhất, mặc dù hai chúng tôi chỉ có ba cánh tay cùng nhiều căn bệnh trầm kha.

Bác Tùng nâng chén trà toả khói, đưa đi đưa lại trước mũi tận hưởng hương trà, mắt đăm chiêu nhìn tia nắng cuối thu lọt qua khóm trúc chiếu vào tấm vải phủ lồng chim tạo thành những chấm loang lổ lung linh. Nét mặt bác tư lự...
- Này! Thổ đồng sắp gáy. Cổ anh bạn đang cúi nhẹ, lông hơi xù. Nó sắp nói chuyện với chúng ta đấy.
Quả nhiên, chú chim hất nhẹ đuôi và cất tiếng:
- Cù - cúc cu... cu... cu, Cù - cúc cu... cu... cu…
- Con này giọng hay. Ta ngồi gần mà nghe tiếng vang như vọng từ xa, nhưng rất rành rọt. Thế mới tuyệt! Còn đẹp mã nữa chứ. Đầu thon, ức mầu ngói lửa, nở đều. Nhưng tiếng gáy thua con của tôi trước đây một chút. Này nhé, con của tôi, tiếng "cù" đầu câu nhẹ nhưng vang, còn tiếng thứ hai thứ ba: "Cúc cu..." giọng thổ vang vọng. Đến tiếng thứ tư chuyển giọng thổ đồng thật là âm...
- Mà này! Chiến tranh và dịch dã đâu phải trò đùa! Tiêu huỷ hàng loạt! Hủy diệt bao sinh linh!
Tôi lặng im, không muốn quấy rầy dòng suy nghĩ của bác. Bác hạ giọng như tự nói với mình:
- Tôi nhớ năm Mậu Thân, khi đơn vị tập kết ven rừng sát biên giới. Cũng heo may cuối thu, cũng nắng hanh hao. Bỗng nghe tiếng chim gáy vọng từ phía bìa rừng. Tôi liền thao thao kể những kỷ niệm đẹp về loài chim cu gáy. Cả tiểu đội bỗng trầm đi vì nhớ nhà. CậuTân, cậu Hoà lính mới còn thút thít khóc. Nghĩ lại tôi thấy mình thật vô ý. Nhất là trong hoàn cảnh lính mới sắp vào trận lần đầu.
- Còn tôi, lúc đó nhớ quêda diết. Một vùng quê yên ả, quanh năm sóng lúa rì rào. Tôi nhớ, thường vào lúc gần trưa, từ phía rặng xoan vườn nhà một tiếng cu gáy, gáy sôi lên như đón tôi từ trường học về.
Tôi bắt đầu chú ý và yêu thích tiếng chim gáy từ cái buổi ở bìa rừng hôm đó. Dọc nẻo hành quân, mỗi khi nghe tiếng chim gáy, bác Tùng lại giảng giải cho tôi thế nào là giọng kim, giọng thổ, giọng thổ đồng... Lại còn phân biệt tướng mạo của chúng...
Bác Tùng nhấp một chút nước, chúm miệng gáy rất sôi. Mắt bác bỗng sáng, lanh lợi như những đốm nắng lung linh trên chiếc lá trúc xanh biếc đang vẫy gió. 
Để phá đi không khí trầm mặc, cũng để bác đỡ buồn nhớ những chú chim thân yêu của bác, tôi quyết định tặng bác con Thổ đồng của tôi và tôi giữ chú giọng kim của bác lại. Tôi nói:
- Bác đem con Thổ đồng về nuôi. Tôi nuôi con Kim. Lâu nay chúng ta không làm thơ đấy. Lần sau, nhất định mỗi người phải có một bài rồi đem bình cho vui.
Bác Tùng ngần ngừ một lát, rồi vui vẻ đồng ý. Bác cho lồng chim lên xe đạp, bắt tay tôi, từ biệt ra về.
*
Kể cũng lạ, từ ngày bác Tùng mang con Thổ đồng đi, con Kim của tôi ít gáy hơn. Cu cậu ủ rũ buồn ra mặt. Mấy ngày đầu tôi không bận lòng lắm, nghĩ cũng là lẽ thường. Nhưng qua một tuần, cu cậu hầu như không gáy, ăn uống cũng kém. Tôi biết nó không bệnh. Vậy thì nó buồn, nhớ bạn phát ốm chăng? Tôi đem chuyện con Kim hỏi anh Khương người kinh doanh chim cảnh, anh bảo:
- Bác cứ cả nghĩ, con cu gáy của bác không ốm đau gì sất! Làm gì chim biết nhớ nhung! Vô tư đi! Không đáng quan tâm. Con chim ấy mà!
Mọi khi tôi chỉ "gù" một tiếng, nó đã gù theo. Khi tôi cho nó ăn, nó luôn nghịch ngợm trêu chọc mổ vào tay tôi. Mấy hôm nay tôi cho cu cậu món đậu xanh khoái khẩu, nó thờ ơ. Tôi "gù" gọi, đưa ngón tay đùa với nó, nó cũng mổ tay tôi đấy, nhưng tôi nhận ra sự gượng gạo, buồn buồn. Lòng tôi nặng trĩu...
- Chú mày có tâm sự phải không? Tao cũng buồn lắm. Nhớ Thổ đồng lắm! Chú mày tưởng, chỉ có chú mày nhớ bạn...
Tôi đang chuyện với con Kim thì bác Tùng đã dừng xe, ghếch chân lên bồn trồng khóm trúc, cánh tay duy nhất giơ lồng chim có con Thổ đồng, miệng nói tiếp câu mà tôi đang nói dở dang:
- Chỉ có chú mày buồn thôi ư? Tao cũng đang nẫu ruột ra đây!... Bác ạ, con Thổ đồng về với tôi, nó buồn, nhớ bạn hay sao ấy! Chim cũng giống người mà!...
- Này anh bạn, tôi đem bạn anh về với anh đây nhé!
Bác Tùng nhẹ nhàng treo chú Thổ đồng vào chỗ cũ. Lặng lẽ bày chiếc ghế đẩu làm bàn. Bác lấy chiếc bình tông rượu, vẫn còn lớp vỏ bọc nhưng đã sờn và ngả mầu vàng ệch, đặt lên ghế, và giục tôi lấy chén. Tôi lặng lẽ làm theo. Hai chén được rót đầy rượu.
Không gian tĩnh mịch. Những đốm nắng cuối thu cũng đậu im phắc trên lá trúc và trên mặt sân. Giọng bác Tùng xa xăm:
- Chiến tranh, dịch dã, sự vô tình và vô cảm của loài người... Đều là sự huỷ diệt. Huỷ diệt cả thế giới hữu hình và vô hình! Thôi, quên đi cho thanh thản!
-         Bác xem kìa, hai chú chim linh lợi hẳn lên khi gặp nhau. Chú Thổ đồng buồn khi xa bạn đã gợi cho tôi ý thơ. Tôi đọc bác nghe nhé. Bài thơ viết cho "Pháo" của chúng ta đấy:

Ai Lao. 
Gió Lào.
Trời Tây. 
Viễn xứ.
Mịt mù. Gió hú.
Lao Bảo, Đèo cao.

Buồn nao nao,
Đất khách…
Đìu hiu, lau lách,
Rừng chiều…
chạnh lòng,
Thương nhớ.
Linh thiêng,
Theo gió.
Về đây!
Câu thơ,
Từ mắt,
Cay cay.
Ta ngâm ngợi,
Để cùng say,
Gió Lào...
Nghe đến đây, tôi lặng lẽ vào lấy thêm chiếc chén. Bác Tùng rót ba chén đầy. Ba tay ba chén cụng đánh cạch, nhẹ mà vang. Tôi lặng lẽ rót một chén xuống đất.
Cứ như vậy, chúng tôi đứng lặng im uống ba chén liền... Mùi rượu từ sân toả lên thơm lựng. Cả hai chúng tôi như quyện vào hương rượu bay lên bồng bềnh... Hai chú chim cũng cất tiếng gáy, đưa chúng tôi về với cánh rừng thủa nào của một thời lính trẻ... 

Phủ Lạng Thương 2005
P.N.S

 

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