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Lan vút chạy ra khỏi cổng trường, cô chạy một mạch tới bờ sông. Mấy đoá hoa sen đua nhau chớm nở. Mà sao lòng cô buồn quá, tại sao lại thành như thế này chứ. Gia đình. Lệ Lan lần lượt rơi lã chã thấm đôi vai của cô. Lan thực sự đau đớn. Nghề bán cá của mẹ thì bị bạn bè trêu ghẹo, còn ba… Tại sao lại thành ra cơ sự thế này chứ ? Nghề bán cá cũng là nghề lương thiện mà, tại sao ? Đôi mắt ướt nhoà, Lan đi trong cơn mê. Hương hoa tuổi mười sáu không soi sáng ước mơ hay sao. Lan ước gì mình có thể làm gì đó để mẹ thoát khỏi cảnh bán cá bây giờ, để Lan không còn mùi cá khi đến lớp. Cái mùi cá đã lẽo đẽo theo cô suốt mười mấy năm nay. Kể từ thuở ấu thơ.

Sáng sớm vừa dụi mắt, Lan nhẹ nhàng mở cửa. Một mùi hôi tanh bốc lên khắp căn nhà nhỏ. Mẹ Lan đã dậy từ sớm lụi cụi ướp đá cho lũ cá, bà đang dọn hàng. Lan đã quen với những cảnh tượng như vậy. Lan đã quen với rất nhiều những mùi rác rưởi ấy. Bày, biện, gom, dọn, xả… Và lung tung mọi thứ tại nơi đây, trên thềm trước ngõ. Lan vội vàng ra phụ mẹ khiêng linh khỉnh các thau cá đủ loại. Lan cất tiếng:
-         Bữa nay mở hàng sớm vậy hả mẹ. Mẹ có cần con phụ gì thêm không ?
-         Không cần đâu con, coi chừng mùi cá lát sao đi học, thôi vào đánh răng rửa mặt rồi đi học. Con cầm ít tiền đi ăn sáng, sáng nay vội quá mẹ không nấu.
-         Thôi không cần đâu ạ, con vẫn còn. Ba lại không về hả mẹ ?
-         Lại chứng nào tật ấy, thôi mẹ con mình xem như không có người đàn ông ấy trên đời đi.
Nghe mẹ nói vậy Lan cảm thấy rất tủi thân và chạnh lòng. Mẹ vất vả bán cá góc chợ này để nuôi gia đình vậy mà ba. Lan là một thiếu nữ mười sáu tuổi với khuôn mặt sáng sủa, cái răng khểnh dễ thương, đôi mắt tròn trịa. Duy chỉ có không gian sống mù mịt làm cô rất buồn. Cô vẫn luôn giữ nụ cười trên môi nhưng thâm tâm phần nào lạc lỏng ở chốn đông người này. Cô khoác lên tà áo dài tinh khôi rồi vội vàng lướt qua hàng cá của mẹ. Đôi dày ba ta dính đất dính nước làm cô không rõ con đường mình phải trớ như thế nào để bước đi cho sạch. Vào lớp Lan vẫn luôn tươi cười như mọi ngày duy chỉ ánh mắt của các bạn cô vẫn như vậy. Cô vô tình làm rơi cặp sách của thằng Tuấn, một tên láu cá nổi tiếng hách dịch trong lớp:
-         Ê cái con bán cá kia, đi không có mắt có mũi gì hả, lượm lên kẻo dơ cặp sách tao
Có vẻ như chạm vào nỗi đau trong tâm can, Lan hét lớn:
-         Bán cá thì có gì sai hả, chỉ có những người ăn không ngồi rồi mới đáng khinh bỉ thôi.
-         Ờ, không khinh nhưng mà hôi lắm. Nhìn lại từ trên xuống dưới đi, một mùi nồng nặc. Còn ba Lan là đại ca cá độ bóng đá phải không, hình như mới bị bắt tối qua thì phải. Ha ha ha…
-         Tuấn, vừa nói cái gì, ba mình… mình… bị bắt sao.
-          Không tin mày đi ra quán cà phê đầu chợ hỏi coi, tao có xạo không. Chúc mừng nghe.
Lan vút chạy ra khỏi cổng trường, cô chạy một mạch tới bờ sông. Mấy đoá hoa sen đua nhau chớm nở. Mà sao lòng cô buồn quá, tại sao lại thành như thế này chứ. Gia đình. Lệ Lan lần lượt rơi lã chã thấm đôi vai của cô. Lan thực sự đau đớn. Nghề bán cá của mẹ thì bị bạn bè trêu ghẹo, còn ba… Tại sao lại thành ra cơ sự thế này chứ ? Nghề bán cá cũng là nghề lương thiện mà, tại sao ? Đôi mắt ướt nhoà, Lan đi trong cơn mê. Hương hoa tuổi mười sáu không soi sáng ước mơ hay sao. Lan ước gì mình có thể làm gì đó để mẹ thoát khỏi cảnh bán cá bây giờ, để Lan không còn mùi cá khi đến lớp. Cái mùi cá đã lẽo đẽo theo cô suốt mười mấy năm nay. Kể từ thuở ấu thơ. Lan bước vội về nhà. Mẹ đang vật vã trước hiên nhà:
-         Ba con… làm sao bây giờ hả con ?
-         Con mệt lắm. Con rất sợ mùi cá của mẹ, mẹ có biết hay không ? Con đã chán sống cảnh này lắm rồi.
Lan chạy vút qua trước mặt bà mẹ đang quay quắt vì nỗi buồn xuyên xấu tâm can. Bà khẽ lau nước mắt:
-         Đúng rồi, bán cá thế này con mình không thích lại phải rồi. Chắc phải chuyển nghề thôi. Mà lấy tiền ở đâu ra đây ?
Bỏ mặc những lời trong nước mắt của mẹ. Lan vùi vào giường, cô nhắm mắt trong tức tối. Mẹ Lan hiện ra đẹp làm sao, mái tóc đen huyền, nụ cười hiền hậu ôm cô vào lòng. Bỗng chốc mẹ cô biến mất, trước mặt cô hàng loạt những con cá với hàm răng rất dài đang bám lấy cô, nhai ngấu nghiến. Mấy con cá đen thui xấu xí đang nhìn cô, chúng xịt rất nhiều chất bẩn, mùi hôi nồng nặc toả khắp thân hình bé nhỏ của Lan. Tay Lan đứt ra, chân Lan lìa ra và chạy khỏi thân hình…
-         Tôi không muốn, hãy buông tha cho tôi. Mẹ ơi ! Cứu con với !
-         Có chuyện gì vậy hả con, con bị làm sao vậy hả. Chỉ là một cơn ác mộng thôi mà. Con uống sữa đi rồi ngủ sớm lấy lại sức.
-         Con không sao đâu mẹ ơi. Những lời nói hay nãy con đã sai rồi, con xin lỗi mẹ nhiều lắm.
-         Không, con nói đúng. Không thể để con sống thế này mãi được. Con là một đứa trẻ giỏi văn mà, sao có thể để con sống tù túng hôi thối thế này được. Mẹ nghĩ kĩ rồi, tháng sau mẹ con mình sẽ dọn khỏi nơi này. Chúng ta sẽ tìm đến một nơi đẹp hơn để sống, mẹ cũng sẽ không hành nghề bán cá nữa. Con chịu không ?
-         Con không chịu đâu mẹ ơi. Con tự hào vì có mẹ, một người mẹ bán cá lấm lem mùi. Con sống ở đây được mà, mẹ đừng lo cho con.
Tối hôm đó, chỉ có hai mẹ con trong căn nhà nhỏ, bên góc chợ. Hai mẹ con chuẩn bị bữa ăn tối rất tươm tất. Toàn những món cá tâm huyết của mẹ Lan. Lan vẫn vậy, vẫn chút gì đó còn trống vắng trong linh hồn, khắc khoải. Lan nuốt vội chén cơm rồi quay vào bàn học. Những đoá hoa tươi Lan treo trước cửa sổ đã héo tàn tự bao giờ. Mấy bông hồng Lan cắm cũng cả tuần rồi nên cánh hoa cũng lũ lượt rơi xuống. Lan cảm thấy lòng mình trống vắng làm sao. Có lẽ suốt cuộc đời này Lan phải cảm ơn mẹ. Người đã tất cả ngược xuôi bán cá lo cho cô ăn học đến ngày hôm nay. Lan cầm lên hộp bút hình con cá mẹ tặng con hồi năm ngoái, thật dễ thương. Lan đã từng rất thích món quà ấy. Lúc nào cô cũng mang theo bên mình. Trong lòng rất hỗn loạn nên Lan không muốn nghĩ thêm gì. Quyển thơ chép tay của Lan nằm chình ình trước mặt mà cô cũng không buồn xem. Cô đang kiếm tìm gì đó ở một nơi rất xa xôi, rời xa cõi ồn ào. Tờ báo cũ bó hoa nằm bẹp dí trong góc bàn, Lan cầm lên xem thử.
-         Mẹ ơi, khu chợ này sắp được đưa vào qui hoạch khu trung tâm thương mại rồi. Mẹ con mình sắp được ra khỏi nơi này rồi.
-         Thật dậy hả con, mừng quá. Cơ mà chúng ta sẽ đi đâu ?
Vừa lúc ấy, ba Lan về… Đưa tiền đây, trận hồi tối thua quá. Không tao đập nát cái nhà này bây giờ…
Truyện ngắn: PHAN NAM

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